Wednesday, December 17, 2025

For Some Eaton Fire Survivors, a Season of Grief

By THERESE EDU

Nearly a year after flames swept through Altadena, mental health professionals are seeing an epidemic of holiday depression as families face celebrations without homes, possessions or traditions

The holidays arrived in Altadena this year like an uninvited guest, bearing gifts nobody asked for: the pressure to be festive when everything feels broken, the expectation of joy in places where homes once stood, the weight of traditions that no longer have a place to happen.

Nearly a year after the January Eaton Fire destroyed homes and displaced families across Altadena and Pasadena, mental health professionals in the area are witnessing what they describe as an epidemic of holiday depression. The timing is particularly cruel: The first major holidays fall just weeks before the fire’s one-year anniversary, creating what therapists call a double burden of anniversary grief and seasonal expectation.

“Anniversaries are deeply tied into grief and trauma. Our brain remembers when,” said Dr. Kate Truitt, CEO of Dr. Kate Truitt and Associates in Pasadena. The holidays amplify that effect, she explained, as survivors must confront both their losses and society’s expectation of seasonal cheer.

In her practice, Dr. Audrey Davidheiser, owner of Aim for Breakthrough, sees a recognizable pattern emerging among fire survivors as December progresses. “There’s a lethargy, a dulling of holiday activities,” she said. “They’re not excited about celebrations that once brought joy. Some can barely get out of bed.”

The depression extends beyond those who lost homes. Texanna Darrow, chief nursing officer at Las Encinas Hospital, described what disaster researchers call collective trauma—a communal weight that settles over entire neighborhoods. “People who weren’t directly displaced may experience a collective heaviness, often seen after community-wide disasters, where the stress of the past year lowers everyone’s emotional bandwidth,” she said.

Financial pressures compound the emotional toll. Families find themselves choosing between rebuilding costs and mental health care. The holiday season also brings what therapists call “social performance anxiety”—the pressure to appear festive when you’re grieving. “There’s an expectation that because it’s the holidays, people should just push through,” Darrow said. “But you can’t push through trauma.”

The statistics bear out what clinicians are seeing on the ground. A 2014 National Alliance on Mental Illness survey found that 64 percent of people with diagnosed mental illness reported the holidays made their condition worse, with financial strain (68 percent), loneliness (66 percent) and pressure (63 percent) as top stressors—all magnified for fire survivors.

Mental health professionals are watching for specific warning signs: activities that previously brought pleasure no longer having any effect, chronic detachment, and major sleep disruptions. “If we’re not able to sleep, our system cannot recover from the stress of each day. And that stress builds, and that’s a huge trigger for depression and even suicidality,” Truitt said.

Davidheiser emphasized that professional help becomes essential when destructive thought patterns emerge. “If they’re saying things like, ‘Things are never going to change, why do I bother rebuilding?’ Then I strongly suggest them to seek a professional,” she said. “If they don’t check that kind of negative self-talk, it can easily spiral to even darker places.”

The most urgent warning signs—plans to harm oneself or talking about wanting to die—require immediate intervention.

‘Mental Health Is a Human Right’

Recognizing that many survivors cannot access or afford traditional therapy, mental health professionals are teaching techniques that require neither insurance nor appointments.

Davidheiser recommends five to 10 minutes daily of self-talk: turning off your phone, find quiet space, and speaking encouraging words to yourself out loud. “Say to yourself, ‘Next year’s going to be a better year,'” she suggested. “Be present with today. Love on yourself.”

Truitt teaches the “moving hug”: Place hands on shoulders with arms crossed, then gently move them down your arms while breathing deeply. “Our skin actually has soothing receptors embedded in it,” she explained. Even a three-minute walk helps. She created a free toolkit at drtruitt.com/free-healing-tools-resources.

Darrow focuses on immediate steps: two-minute breathing exercises, maintaining basic routines, and turning off fire-related news. “The most effective strategies are simple, repeatable, and low-cost,” she said.

All three experts emphasized giving yourself permission to have a different kind of holiday. Some survivors are creating new traditions: potluck dinners, simple gatherings, or skipping celebrations entirely.

For those watching loved ones struggle, Truitt teaches a framework she calls Brain Partnership, which removes shame by framing symptoms as the brain’s normal response to overwhelming experiences. A sample opening: “Hey, I noticed that some things are different right now. We all just went through some really big stuff. I just want to check in. How are you?”

Darrow provided phrases that can help: “You don’t have to celebrate anything you’re not ready for, but I don’t want you to feel alone. Would it help if I sat with you for a bit?”

What doesn’t help: judging someone’s feelings, minimizing their grief, or pushing them into holiday activities. “Be an empathetic listener who does not try to ‘fix it’ but is present with them in their grief,” Darrow said.

Group support is particularly powerful, according to both Davidheiser and Darrow. “Just the fact that you’re surrounded by other people who have experienced something similar, that tends to normalize the experience,” Davidheiser said.

Local organizations have mobilized in response. Pasadena Village hosted a workshop in November on navigating holiday depression. The Pasadena Community Foundation has made mental health a funding priority. Some survivors find solace in community rituals. The Altadena Christmas tree lighting took on special meaning. “It makes me cheerful,” Truitt said.

But access remains challenging. While nonprofits including Pacific Clinics, Didi Hirsch, Foothill Family and Pasadena Village run programs, many have waitlists. “Mental health is a human right, and yet psychotherapy is a privilege,” Truitt said. “That’s why we’re focusing on what everybody can access.”

For those experiencing holiday depression or thoughts of self-harm, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline offers immediate support 24 hours a day. The Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health maintains a helpline at 800-854-7771 for holiday blues and seasonal stress. Huntington Hospital’s Della Martin Center in Pasadena provides walk-in mental health services. The city of Pasadena maintains an online database of resources for fire survivors at pasadena.gov.

“If these symptoms feel more intense or difficult to manage in your daily life, that is the time to reach out for help and not wait till it becomes an emergency,” Darrow advised.

As December progresses toward the January anniversary, mental health professionals expect the depression to intensify for many survivors. But they emphasized that what people are feeling is normal, appropriate grief for profound loss. “We all need help at some point in our lives to assist in processing life events that seem too heavy to bear,” Darrow said. “Never feel ashamed of reaching out for help.”

Truitt offered a final thought: “Altadena and Pasadena, our communities have done a really beautiful job of creating community rituals together. Even the act of talking about this, of acknowledging what people are going through, is a way of the community coming together.”

For fire survivors facing their first holidays, that acknowledgment—being seen in their grief rather than pressured to hide it—may be the most important gift of all.