Well, the folks at the barely-civilized Chaney Trail neighborhood are upset that the sheriff’s department is not shutting the trail gate for the night in a timely manner, and they’re looking for self-sufficient alternatives.

After deciding against the “head on a pike” alternative, they’re discussing others.  Most popular alternatives to date:  1) Xena, Warrior Princess, or 2) a cyborg, preferably driving a Hummer.  (We could say something about after-hours visitors and hummers, but this is a family blog, so why even try?)

(Voodoo dolls and a real security guard have also been offered as alternatives, but what fun are they?)